HowToGetCloseToGod

How do I get close to God?

I've recently realised that I've slipped very far from God. What do I mean? Well, I hate praying - just talking about it makes me feel terrible. I also don't like going to church and stuff. I feel really far away.

What can I do about it?

I've decided I need to just have some discipline and force myself to "spend time with God" - what I mean by that is trying to pray and read the Bible even if I don't feel like it's working.

But it's hard.

Any suggestions or anything?

What am I really looking for?

People's individual comments are at the bottom, but here are some of the practical ideas we've come up with:

Ideas to help with praying

• Read out something someone else has written. I know it sounds bad, but actually it can be helpful. Maybe there's a song you like, or even a Psalm?
• Don't be put off by thinking you should pray for ages - sit down for a couple of minutes and see where that takes you.
• The candle idea was a good one - is something to focus on. Other things might be just as helpful like a picture or photo or natural object or something.
• Pray with someone else. If I do that it makes me do it. Not always possible but have found it to be cool thing to do when I can.
• Prayer walk - go out for walk with only purpose being to pray. Then there's not so much to be distraction. Yeah but this is so cheesey! Is it? Why? Well in that case you could try chatting to God over a cup of tea (or social prop of your choice)! I don't think I should always just chat casually to God - there's room for awe and confession and worship - but I find it helps me to relate to Him as a person and remember His great love for me - I don't need to come before Him with lots of impressive thoughts. After all, there's nothing I like doing better than unwinding over a pint with a friend and having a chin-wag / emotional dumping-session, and I'm sure Jesus enjoys it too. And like the candle idea it helps me to climb down and just 'be still' for a change instead of thinking "Argggh! I'm too busy/frantic to pray!!!"

• Pray specifically rather than generally - makes it much easier to notice when it's answered and that's really encouraging. (Keeping a record of stuff you've prayed for apparently helps with this too but I don't do that so can't comment.)

• I sometimes write my prayers down - not as a thing to read out to God later but just as a discussion on paper - asking God about things and trying to work out the answer. It helps stop my thoughts wandering. This could be useful for trying to work out guidance, or how I should pray for someone or what I should say to them, or just to vent my feelings - so pretty much like a non-praying person might, except that I ask God to help my thoughts and remember He's present there with me. You could write it as a diary, letter, notes, text message style or whatever helps you speak your thoughts out to God.

• Share stuff with us on the PrayerBoard ...

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Ideas to help with reading the Bible

• Read a whole book in big chunks. Don't look for major wisdom from God, just read the story and get into it. I know it sounds unlikely, but Deuteronomy is really quite interesting as a story.

• Don't necessarily expect some out-of-the-ordinary experience of knowing God has spoken to you; I hardly ever get this. If the Bible is God's message, then anything we read in the Bible is God speaking to us. Peruse a section, and think what it means - perhaps that's what God wants to say. What do you think about this idea? (I like that idea - makes it seem less pressure to have words leap off the page or something! And also reminds me of something I strongly feel which is God being in the ordinary, common sense, every day stuff just as much as big miraculous things.)

• I've started scribbling copiously in the margin - it helps me to feel as though I'm interacting with what's written, rather than let it go in one ear and out the other. I write down how I want to respond, put question marks next to things I don't understand (and try to find out about them later), underline things... It'll quickly wear out my Bible, but I think I'll learn and change more.

• Read the same thing as someone else so you can discuss it with them.

• Do it with the rest of us on the BibleExperiment page...

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Ideas to help with hearing from God from other people

• Ask them.
• Be open about things you want to be hearing from Him about - they might have things to say that they otherwise wouldn't think of. Is easier than expecting them to be mind readers or have sudden spectacular word from God.
• Really listen. Don't just stop speaking while someone else talks. Expectation probably plays a big part in this and the stuff above - if I expect to learn stuff I am way more likely to rather than have my mind closed off to the possibility.

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Ideas to help with finding time

Being a student, I don't really have any excuse for not finding time to pray. But my friends who are teachers and doctors have to work long hours and then if they get a spare moment in the day they just want to collapse in front of the TV or eat or something - and some of them are married and some even have children to deal with. The only time they seem to get round to praying is while they're cycling or driving to work. How can professional people fit decent prayer times into their lives? How can we students prepare ourselves for the rigours of a working life? Any advice from you people with 'real jobs' (as my mum says, as in "When are you going to get a...") would be very welcome.

• Realise that it's going to be hard sometimes. You're going to lose some TV time. And it's not always going to be fun. But just think of the riches in heaven you'll get if you miss the first half of Changing Rooms and spend some time (trying to) pray! I.e. don't forget we are asked to sacrifice.

Yes, but what if you've got a job and two children to look after and no TV?

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I found it helped me to pray with a candle lit that just makes me feel

well I don't know why it helped

It's really hard, isn't it. I do sympathise; I often feel like this. In particular, I find prayer extremely difficult.

Nothing to add at the moment, I'm afraid - just my sympathy. If I think of anything that might be of help, I'll make sure I tell you.

Take good care. All the best, DavidB

I can understand your problem - sometimes I feel quite close to God but often I don't. I don't mind praying so much but I don't actually enjoy reading the Bible. I try to read a bit every day, but, to be honest, I don't think that God has ever 'spoken' to me through the Bible (well, maybe once, but even that I'm not sure about). Also I sometimes feel bad because people I speak to act as though you should spend a long time reading the Bible every day, and I only spend a few minutes! Like you, I really wish I could get closer to God - it's something I pray about quite a lot - but nothing much has happened. Sorry if I can't give you any suggestions or anything, I'd quite like some advice myself!

Alice

I think it's really useful that different Christians find different things easy and hard about relating to God - I've said I find prayer difficult, while for Alice reading the Bible is harder. Let's all help each other :) Below I've set up two headings on these two things for starters - can anybody who comes here add any ideas they have? Add any other headings about relating to God, as well. Not every idea will help everybody, but that's fine :) DavidB

This is very cool. I am rubbish at reading the Bible AND praying. Ok, I do the last minute "please help me with this" prayers but very little else. I get so bored. My concentration span just isn't there. I did find that sermon on the mount thing on here quite a helpful thing though - made me concentrate on what I was reading cos there was a point in it, as I had things to write about it then. M.

I've tacked my experiences about praying on as a comment at the end of Andy's article "Downs and Ups" as it's too long to put here. Midge

"Pray specifically rather than generally - makes it much easier to notice when it's answered and that's really encouraging. (Keeping a record of stuff you've prayed for apparently helps with this too but I don't do that so can't comment.)"

To be honest, that's something I really struggle with. People told me how exciting it was to have a prayer diary and be able to look back and see a page full of ticks by answered prayers. But in my years of prayer diaries, apart from the odd exception, I really find it hard to say "Yes, this has been answered." I feel awkward when non-Christians ask "Does God really answer your prayers?" And that's one reason (apart from laziness) why I find it so hard to pray - I believe that prayer is a powerful privilege/weapon, but it's so hard for me to see results, and I get discouraged rather than encouraged.

Is it my fault for not praying for the right things? Or do I just need to be more patient? Why does God seem to answer other people's prayers so much more? Is it cos my faith is weak?

(PS I don't want to be ungrateful, so I should say that some of the prayers God has clearly answered have been pretty big ones!)

• I have just been rescued by God. I was shipwrecked for 17 years. I was humbled to come into God's prescents again, I had really fouled up. Psalm 51, Luke 15 had me on my knees, in tears for days, I was not sure that I would'nt be struck down some way, I finally figured out that I really was Saved, and Baptised prior, so it really was a rescue by the Lord. I'am so gratefull that He came for me, that I 'am wanting to show my gratitude in any way I can, He tells us we can do nothing outside of Him, and He Gave me the Grace to rid me of things that amaze me to be free of, and I didn't have to do anything, God took those things from me, the biggest being my 40 year smoking habit,( I've nearly dated myself) just gone! I... I, tried and failed, two weeks later a small voice spoke to try again, I obeyed, and for the last 108 days, I have not needed to smoke, just gone! The things I do I do because I'm told in the Book to do them, and I obey, if the Book say's it I do it, maybe not as well as Paul would do it, but I try. The Word _is_ Spritual food, we are Born Again, we're now Spiritual souls, if we don't "eat" we get sick, and can't function as the Lord wants, and prayer for me too can be time consuming but I think you said it right, you have to discipline yourself (discipline looks as though it is derived from disciple doesen't it? Huh). God needs us to talk to Him, that is the reason He created us right? Try this, picture God on his throne, and boldly climb up onto his lap, and let Him hold you, and just talk to Him like a four year old would, He is our Father, we are His children after all, He made us to want to love Him. Reading and prayer and an occasional unction, or soft word, is all we'll get until we come home. OH! We also get brotherly and sisterly edification sometimes which we usually need. My name is David, and I really hope you read this, and if it helps, I'll be happy.