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| andy | Posted: 04.02.2005, 00:22 | |
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Up late worrying about my work. Feeling better generally because I've been working very hard this week and making serious progress, but I think that fact that the end is approaching is meaning my anxiety is coming to a head. I've been having what I think are panic attacks today - tightness in the chest, making it difficult to breath. Hopefully when I hand in a little bit tomorrow (/today) I'll feel better, but maybe not... |
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| Midge | Posted: 04.02.2005, 01:04 | |
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>the end is approaching Don't you believe it. A word came to me today - Luke 14:29-30. I haven't had any tightchestedness, just a tenseness all over which is very hard to switch off. When I'm unable to act (like when I'm in bed), the tension just builds up. I think proper exercise like running (or clubbing) is the answer - but I never feel up to it, sadly. Hope you feel better soon. Handing in work is always a good feeling, till I get comments back. I wonder how/when I'm ever going to finish my thesis now that I've got a full-time job for the next 5 or 6 months. Not the one-year research post in Edinburgh requiring a knowledge of Hungarian that I'd hoped to get, but a 'scanner operator' (as in scanning books) for a local company. Hopefully I won't be too exhausted and will be able to work on it at weekends - but I was hoping to catch up with visiting people at weekends... edited by: Midge, Feb 04, 2005 - 01:11 AM |
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| Midge | Posted: 04.02.2005, 01:21 | |
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Regarding that, I spent some time this afternoon (while trying to get rid of a headache caused either by a cold or by oversleeping - I was so exhausted yesterday I fell asleep at 6pm and decided to go to bed when I woke up at 7 - then I stayed in bed till 2pm) working on the 'sod you' factor - or more politely the 'that's your problem' factor. I start worrying cos of a feeling that people think I'm letting them down, that they expect me to do better etc. But I need to remember that I'm trying to do my best, and if they think I ought to have my thesis done by now, they need to realise I've tried, and with a full-time job they can't expect much, and if they do, that's their problem. | |
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| Anonymous | Posted: 04.02.2005, 04:22 | |
| Unregistered User |
No jobs for me until I'm finished. And please don't even talk about the changes I'll need to make after I've handed it in. I need to be in denial about that or I'd never get out of bed. Anyway, tonight/this morning I've written most of my discussion. it is an utter load of rubbish. Really. My supervisors are going to laugh. I hope they do it when I'm not there. |
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| Midge | Posted: 05.02.2005, 19:53 | |
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>No jobs for me until I'm finished. That was my intention (as helpful people kept saying "You'd better finish it before you get a job, otherwise once you've got a job, you'll never get it finished"). But unfortunately I need the money. >it is an utter load of rubbish I wonder if I've still got the stuff I wrote about trees (the leafy kind), the policies of the current government, and how languages develop?? My supervisor was very polite about that. |
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| andy | Posted: 07.02.2005, 12:16 | |
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If you do, please post it. Please. |
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| andy | Posted: 07.02.2005, 12:18 | |
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Re-read my discussion and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I think. Fingers crossed. Or something more theologically correct. |
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| Midge | Posted: 18.03.2005, 14:58 | |
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A friend of mine whose supervisor was no help at all, didn't give him any feedback for over a year now, steals other people's ideas, and spread a rumour that my friend was autistic because he disagreed with him, has just passed his viva with v slight corrections. (Another of his supervisees is in her 12th year.) So I think I'm slowly learning that for a lot of people, finishing a PhD involves realising that your supervisor doesn't have a plan or a desire for you to finish, isn't organised, and that it's up to you to put your foot down and submit. We'll see what happens - I was determined to throw myself at it this week, but then I got hit with an exhausting cold as usual. | |
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| andy | Posted: 18.03.2005, 15:18 | |
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Go your friend. Finishing is definitely something you have to want to do, a bit like giving up smoking. | |
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| Midge | Posted: 20.03.2005, 20:21 | |
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I can't say I haven't been wanting to finish for years, but believing that I can is another matter. First time I read your post, I thought it said "Fishing is definitely something you have to want to do". Very true. |
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| andy | Posted: 22.03.2005, 10:59 | |
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Yes, it can be cold. | |
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| Midge | Posted: 23.03.2005, 20:14 | |
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With regard to finishing my PhD, I'm rapidly losing the will to live. | |
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| Anonymous | Posted: 24.03.2005, 10:40 | |
| Unregistered User |
Sorry it's hard, Midge. What in particular is sapping you? |
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| Anonymous | Posted: 29.03.2005, 11:42 | |
| Unregistered User | Everything. People have been saying "It must be nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel" for the last 2-3 years, but it never seems to get anywhere nearer. Every time I think the end is near, I have to go away and do another load of work. And now the thesis isn't even going anywhere as I don't have enough time and energy to look at it now I've had to get a job. And that just reminds me how nothing else in my life is going anywhere either. I'm just carrying on living for the sake of it. And even if I finished/forgot about the thesis, I haven't got any hopes about the future. And everyone's too busy to communicate properly any more. | |
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| andy | Posted: 30.03.2005, 10:29 | |
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Who is generating this extra work? Maybe it's time to stop listening to your supervisor. | |
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| Midge | Posted: 30.03.2005, 11:41 | |
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Question is, how do you say politely "I know it's your job to advise me, and you've already got a PhD and I haven't, but I'm not going to listen to you any more"? Or "Well, my old supervisor says it's good, and I rate her above you"? I think I need to write an email saying that I'm "concerned" about it, resisting the temptation to use irony, venom, or suggestions that I might slash my wrists. (He'd probably say "That's OK, I used to slash my wrists when I was writing up.") |
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| davidb | Posted: 30.03.2005, 18:54 | |
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Very sorry to hear about this, Midge. You have my sincerest sympathies. | |
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| Midge | Posted: 30.03.2005, 20:06 | |
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Grazie. | |
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