Sex for 1
Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 09:06 AM

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The issue I want to attempt to tackle is lust. Plain and simple

In my opinion this topic is all to do with DESIRES. Now that word to my mind had a bad reputation so allow me to at least speak of what I would call reasonable desires.

Nothing wrong in wanting food
Nothing wrong in smiling or being smiled at
Nothing wrong in wanting attention
Nothing wrong in keeping fit
Nothing wrong in having wine
Nothing wrong in admiring beauty
Nothing wrong in wanting to breath

From these and many more desires can be seen as not only helpful but essential to our well being. However is does also appear (to me) that when one or more of these desires takes a larger role than that appropriate, it starts to dominate and then this leads to problems.

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O.k. so that is my overall thinking on the subject but when you have a problem what do you do?

My initial thought is to take away the problem at the root. However this appears to be equivalent to chopping off a limb � fairly stupid and I don't go in for that sort of thing!

So which way to turn, I look left and see my desires and feel overwhelmed and I look right and see a life with no desires which looks even more unappealing.

Now the subject of lust makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed of who I am which is why I decided to write this article since I believe it is still a bit of a taboo. I mean we know about sex and how it should be inside marriage but that is only one part of it. Lust is a thought which for me takes very little time and happens in the quiet secrecy of my mind. This is a much harder foe to beat, especially when the more I look to see who the culprit is the more I think it is myself.

Now I do not wish people to psycho analyze myself or anyone else but more see the problem as a whole. I can't say for women but I am fairly certain every man on this planet has had a lustful thought. I don't think there is a magic button for when your married either, I'm fairly positive that it is equally possible to have a lustful thought before and after your married.
This whole topic is horrifically difficult to separate from being to personal and specific (hence never making any headway into the issue itself) and to general as to do no good other than to say it is bad and you shouldn't do it.

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SO on to the next piece of the puzzle What is a lustful thought and what is a loving thought and exactly how do those two cross?
Mix in a little friendship and romance and I'm certain I can make the line go gray. This is an area I'm deliberately leaving blank since I have not formed any definite opinions because I'm not sure you can since they appear to change depending on age and situation but I'm very willing to hear peoples views.

Just to recap
Desire � not a bad thing, except when they are out of correct proportion.
Lust a difficult topic to talk about.
What is lust?

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Moving along to the next question which is: How do you adjust the desire to the appropriate level?

I'm sure praying, fasting and reading the bible are the right answers but they seem to have what appears minimal effect for me. But this leads to a whole different topic which goes along the lines of "Deserted by God or growing in faith?"

For me my method revolves around logic and reason. This is where I try and work out logically why I am doing something and see if it is reasonable. However if you apply logic and reason to much into your life you lose that emotion which seems to make life fun and not just a program which needs to be iterated until it is the most efficient, cost effective and sacrificial life pops out.

So logic and reason seem to be inherently floored by emotion which is exactly where lust sneaks in.

So where next, I would try and be accountable to someone but this is not always possible (rarely when needed) and it is one reason why I write this article, so that I can be accountable to those that read it and hopefully give some form of hope to those that may be fellow sufferers of this most frustrating of sins.

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So I now give some more questions just in case the previous ones were not enough!
Is lust a desire � just out of proportion?
What exactly is lust?
Is giving or having one of those smiles which mean so much more good or bad?
Do you have any issues with lust?
Does it disappear after marriage?
Is masturbation sinful?
Is it o.k. to lust after your wife/future wife/girlfriend?
How do you stop a thought when your asleep?
When does emotion turn from good to bad? Or is it neutral?

All pearls of wisdom or general ranting gratefully received.
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