Friends on the outside

andy

Posted: 24.05.2005, 06:31

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Have you got friends who are sort-of Christians, or not-quite Christians, or almost Christians?

I have.

Why are they on, or outside, the edge? Normally because they have been hurt in the past, either "by God" or by people in a church. I was thinking of them when I set up this site.

Are you on the edge or the outside yourself? What kind of set-up would help you get back in?

Do you know people like this? How can we help people who have been hurt rebuild their relationship with God?

Is it vital to have a relationship with Christians as well as God?

darkly

Posted: 15.06.2005, 19:08

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For me it wasn't so much I was hurt by Christianity more that I woke up to not believing, much in the same way that I initially began to believe.

I just don't believe anymore. I look at the major religions and see few differences but plenty of persecution. I see no convincing argument.

D4rk|y

Midge

Posted: 16.06.2005, 12:56

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Like Dx said, there's a variety of reasons why people feel they're on the edge or have come out of Christianity, and different people need different things if they are to find Christianity attractive and understand why they should want to identify with it, even if they would like to.

One thing is definitely bad experiences with churches or Christians in the past, and I suppose those people need to find Christians who aren't like the ones they've had bad experiences of, and who listen to them and understand them.

On the other hand, I think a lot of people just wonder what the point of it is - whether it's really relevant to life and why they should trust its claims. Again, I think they need to be able to talk to Christians who understand where they're coming from and who can explain why they believe. But most Christians seem to be either too busy to talk or don't have relevant helpful answers, because they haven't faced the same doubts or because they're just as confused.

I wonder if a lot of churches haven't lost their way a bit when it comes to presenting the 'Good News'. They've prided themselves on logical and Biblical arguments, but a lot of people find them irrelevant to everyday life and the problems and questions they have. Or they've focussed on some kind of emotional escapism which just makes the problems disappear for a while (like a trip to the pub). So not only do people 'outside' Christianity not find it attractive, but people 'inside' get to a point where they're not sure about it any more either. (I should have another look at the book I mentioned on BooksToRead about reasons why people leave their church.)

Maybe Christians need to think hard about why Christianity is relevant and why it should be attractive good news for people nowadays. Steve Chalke's book The lost message of Jesus is one attempt to get people to think about this. When I read books like GK Chesterton's Orthodoxy, as I said to a friend of mine yesterday, I'm struck by the richness and wholesomeness of his Christianity - it's a red-blooded faith that rejoices in art and nature and pleasure, not some dry argument remote from everyday life. Nowadays, the way Christianity is presented often seems to have forgotten most of life and is one-sided and anaemic.

andy

Posted: 17.06.2005, 09:25

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What about people who feel hurt by God?

Midge

Posted: 17.06.2005, 11:25

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What do you think?

andy

Posted: 19.06.2005, 11:40

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Dunno. Maybe we should start a network of groups that allow you say what you like and genuinely look for God without it being labelled as linked to church.

darkly

Posted: 26.06.2005, 12:23

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But I don't want to look...
I think Midge described me when he said "...people just wonder what the point of it is...". I think I have come to view it as a drain of time, effort and energy a factor greater than the good it does. What I mean by that is you can make a lot of positive things happen in the world without having to waste energy on struggling with a belief and struggling with the label others perceive you to be wearing.
There are a lot of great people who are Christians (some of them are here) but Christians don't get the label of being pompous, self-righteous, egotists without a large number (majority or vocal minority?) being so.

D4rk|y

darkly

Posted: 22.01.2006, 16:36

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[quote=Midge]...Or they've focussed on some kind of emotional escapism which just makes the problems disappear for a while (like a trip to the pub)...[/quote]

I'm not sure wheter Midge was refering to Christians or non-Christians; I suspect the latter.

I don't think I was/am focussed on some kind of emotional escapism. If anything I think I have solved my problems.

D4rk|y

Midge

Posted: 22.01.2006, 17:52

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You suspect wrong. I meant:

I wonder if a lot of churches haven't lost their way a bit when it comes to presenting the 'Good News'.

They've prided themselves on logical and Biblical arguments, but a lot of people find them irrelevant to everyday life and the problems and questions they have.

Or they've focussed on some kind of emotional escapism which just makes the problems disappear for a while (like a trip to the pub).

I meant the kind of church where you can get caught up in excitement and emotion and telling each other how wonderful life is, but when you come down afterwards nothing's changed. In contrast to the kind which expects people to listen to a half-hour lecture about every word of the Bible reading and what it means in the Greek.

Churches/Christians need to scratch where people are at.

darkly

Posted: 23.01.2006, 10:12

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OIC...

Okay - I totally agree with you then. I have experienced this in every Church I have ever been to (well at least all that I have attended enough to actually get to know people).

D4rk|y

Posted: 23.04.2006, 17:44

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One of the things I find very difficult about churches is their ability to ignore real life - and the expectation alongside that which is that your life should be great if you are a Christian and if it isn't then you feel like you can't mention it. Recently made the decision to go to a different church and the vicar at least is a lot more real than that - hoping that others in the church will be too.

Anonymous

Posted: 27.04.2006, 14:47

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Fortunately my church isn't afflicted by this attitude - had a sermon on Sunday about how we should be honest about how we're feeling, and how things are often difficult for Christians.