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| davidb | Posted: 29.09.2003, 14:44 | |
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(Sigh) Ever get a 'I don't want to go' feeling before church on Sunday morning? I'm getting it most weeks at the moment. Our new pastor has some strange ideas which he is very dogmatic about, and it's making me uncomfortable... What do people suggest I do? Write to him? Confront him? Talk to an elder about it? Keep my mouth shut? Ho hum. |
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| andy | Posted: 29.09.2003, 15:36 | |
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I have had this feeling every single week since I was very young, so I can sympathise. Really difficult to know what to do about this. What are the ideas? Will pray for you. |
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| m | Posted: 29.09.2003, 21:38 | |
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Don't ever work for a church. I get that feeling most days. Actually, at the moment I get it every day. And this topic - spot on. Grrr. |
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| davidb | Posted: 30.09.2003, 12:50 | |
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> What are the ideas? Well, really I need to wait and see if he's saying what he seems to be saying, I guess. But he seems to think that we should all have a fairly dramatic 'call' from God to do certain things in our lives, and that God will often 'touch' us in a dramatic way which is a better way of growing close to him than the normal Bible-prayer-other-Christians-normal-life way that I relate to him with. He may be right, but it's making me uneasy. No doubt God can do those things, but will he always, for everybody? I don't think so. |
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| andy | Posted: 01.10.2003, 09:52 | |
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Oh that old chestnut. Let us know what he says if you do talk to him. |
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| m | Posted: 01.10.2003, 22:56 | |
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Sorry to avoid answering your question before... as to how you deal with it, it completely depends on the person. My vicar, the only way is to be assertive and direct and tell him what you think/are doing/etc. Other people, if you did that to them it's not helpful and they react badly. So I'm still avoiding answering your question... I think God can totally do stuff like that. But I think He gave us common sense and a brain for a reason. |
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| davidb | Posted: 03.12.2003, 12:34 | |
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I was asked to play keyboard at church on Sunday. Almost every time I agree to do this, I regret it, and I regretted it this week again. I find it really stressful and horrible to be asked to play songs which I dislike and disagree with (not that all the songs are like this). And I find it particularly stressful to be asked to play the keyboard in a style I think sounds wretched (i.e. "Please could you use the drum machine on this one, David?") I think the problem I face is not really knowing what the right approach is in these circumstances. I'm not the worship leader, so shouldn't I submit to what they're asking me to do? On the other hand, doesn't a musician have a degree of liberty in saying that they don't think they can play a piece in a particular style and make it sound good? I think part of the problem here is that the keyboard is an ambiguous instrument; if I agree to play it, am I also agreeing to use the drum machine? (In the end I didn't use the blasted drum machine, mercifully, because the programming they were asking me to do was rather complex; I claimed that I was worried about doing this, which was true, but wasn't my actual reason. I know that the worship leader *loves* the drum machine, so I couldn't think how to explain that I *hate* it.) But beyond all this, I'm usually unhappy after playing because I feel that I played badly. All this makes me typically decide that I'm never going to agree to play again, but then I capitulate. Why? I suppose it's because I think that I'm moderately gifted as a pianist, and it seems a shame to force the other 2 pianists to play all the time. There's also an element of not wanting to bury my talent, which Jesus seriously takes issue with. I think at the end of all this ranting (sorry guys, I'm still feeling wound up about it), my basic attitude stays the same. I'll agree to play if people are ill or unavailable, but otherwise I think I'm sufficiently busy with other things in the church to say no. Despite feeling that the music in church is terrible, and that maybe I could change it if it was my primary focus, I think I'll carry on concentrating on my youth work. I just wish that when I do play, I could enjoy it and worship God doing it - my current attitude is certainly screwed up. |
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| andy | Posted: 03.12.2003, 13:48 | |
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Sounds nasty and typical davidb. Someone in my church wants to nominate me to be a deacon. So think yourself lucky  |
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| darkly | Posted: 03.12.2003, 19:11 | |
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davidb, I really think you should have no worries in attempting to explain your point of view in these situations. By making yourself unhappy you are not pleasing anyone and I am sure that those around you at Church would not want to be the cause (or at least contribute to) this unhappiness. I know that I may put myself before others more than I should but that said you still have to look after yourself sometimes. Keeping quite will never bring about change: Action and reaction are required. |
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| Midge | Posted: 03.12.2003, 20:07 | |
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There's nothing that stresses me more than having to do something against my will, that I'm not comfortable with, and not being able to say so - or being coerced into doing something that I feel I'm not up to. (If you say no, people criticise you, and if you give in, they criticise you for presuming to do it.) Anyway, I appreciate how you feel. But if I was you (which I'm not, so I can be idealistic and tell you what to do) : I wouldn't worry I played badly - people are usually too hard on themselves, and I don't think people keep asking us to do the same thing just out of politeness, if they really don't think we're good enough at it. And if you think you play badly, let me stand in for you next time I'm visiting, and you'll see what bad is! People need to realise that people's tastes differ. If someone loves the drum machine and its groovy beat, they need to learn that some people don't. You'll be doing everyone a favour. If you're not comfortable doing something, it usually means you shouldn't be doing it. Anyway, I think you're right not to try to take on another role, but maybe you can somhow open up the music side of things to contributions from the congregation - they're just as much part of the worship, and they should be able to express opinions. Maybe a friendly elder could mediate. Or else resort to parody. (You can borrow my 'Soul of Christmas' tape again if you like.) I'm impressed that the drum machine is programmable - you mean they have to put work in to make it sound like that? 
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| davidb | Posted: 04.12.2003, 12:35 | |
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Thanks for your comments and suggestions all, they're much appreciated. Darkly, the thing is that I've already told the elders about my concerns with the naffness of having a beat box, and as far as I can see it hasn't made a scrap of difference. This makes it hard for me to know what's best to do next - how often should I harp on about it? But actually I think you're right; I need to say something again. |
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| andy | Posted: 04.12.2003, 19:50 | |
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Just to talk about me for a moment... (sorry!) (Someone wants to nominate me to be a deacon) I really think people should get involved with their church, and I really think our specific church needs lots of change. I also swore I'd never become one of those people who are so busy doing "Christian" things that they have no life and are exhausted all the time. I don't think God wants that for anyone. It's also a big compliment. I'd have to give out communion stuff which for some reason scares me a lot. But that isn't a good reason. So, any thoughts? |
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| davidb | Posted: 05.12.2003, 11:21 | |
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I think you'd be an excellent deacon, Andy! Your concern about getting too busy is an important point to take into account; don't be pressurised into doing it if you feel too busy. I expect you'd get used to giving out communion, even though it might be nerve-wracking at first. All the best as you figure this out! Cheers, DavidB  |
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| andy | Posted: 06.12.2003, 08:13 | |
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>>I think you'd be an excellent deacon, Andy! Pretty much decided to go for it (although I might not get voted in of course...) Wish me luck! ...or... something more spiritual. |
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| darkly | Posted: 06.12.2003, 17:32 | |
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Andy - I think you will make a great deacon for all the reasons you don't want to be one. If we were all the same how would we progress? |
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| darkly | Posted: 06.12.2003, 17:35 | |
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>>how often should I harp on about it? But actually I think you're right; I need to say something again. davidb, I don't know how often you have spoken to people about this and with what level of emphasis/force but I would imagine form knowing you that it was neither as pushy or frequent as you think. Because it has been on your mind it seems like you are always talking about it but I would hazard a guess that it was not so frequent that people will find another conversation pushy... As Midge says "If you're not comfortable doing something, it usually means you shouldn't be doing it. " or at least you should be informing others of your discomfort. |
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| Midge | Posted: 06.12.2003, 23:18 | |
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>>Andy - I think you will make a great deacon for all the reasons you don't want to be one. If we were all the same how would we progress? Amen! >>how often should I harp on about it? If you prefer, I can visit your church and make some loud comment about it just as a song finishes. But actually, having a programmable drum machine in church sounds pretty good - next time you're asked to play, can you build up some Rockerfeller Skank style breakbeat number? Then people would never dare to trot out some naff beat ever again. BTW Did I mention our Sunday School had to do a rap once in front of everyone?  Ah - I see that I did. |
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| Anonymous | Posted: 07.12.2003, 03:09 | |
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>>next time you're asked to play, can you build up some Rockerfeller Skank style breakbeat number? Then people would never dare to trot out some naff beat ever again. Now the reaction to that I would like to see.
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| darkly | Posted: 07.12.2003, 03:10 | |
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^Guess who.... Doh! |
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| andy | Posted: 07.12.2003, 06:51 | |
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BOOM bah-da da-da-da-BOOM. tic tic tic tic tic tic da da da ... da BOOM ... cha ... |
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| darkly | Posted: 07.12.2003, 23:08 | |
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here or here... Please. |
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| andy | Posted: 08.12.2003, 10:13 | |
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Well, if we're talking health, you Dx will LOVE this: http://www.healthbodyandmind.com/product/6303421091/AsinSearch/1/ Maybe for Christmas... |
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| darkly | Posted: 09.12.2003, 00:16 | |
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Mate, Christmas is only just around the corner and if they didn't have the Aston in my colour then this would make a great sub. |
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| andy | Posted: 09.12.2003, 08:22 | |
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 This one ok? |
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| darkly | Posted: 09.12.2003, 23:14 | |
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Nope it's green! Although - if you bought it me I doubt it would bother me too much. Silver grey is my fav though. |
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